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		<title>Still trying to figure out what I am &lt;https://y.st./en/weblog/2017/10-October/14.xhtml&gt;</title>
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		<header>
			<h1>Still trying to figure out what I am</h1>
			<p>Day 00952: <time>Saturday, 2017 October 14</time></p>
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<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		I&apos;m starting to think again that I&apos;m probably a demigirl.
		At the very least, I have equal parts masculinity and femininity, but it&apos;s more likely I have greater femininity than masculinity.
		It&apos;d explain a lot of my thoughts and feelings.
		Still, I estimate I&apos;m at most about seventy percent feminine.
		I&apos;m pretty sure I&apos;m not girly enough to be a transwoman, but I&apos;m girly enough to know for certain I&apos;m not a cisman.
		Mostly though, this is all idle thoughts that don&apos;t amount to anything important.
		Regardless of if I&apos;m a demigirl or not, it&apos;s much more useful to identify as being of a neutral gender.
		It&apos;s complicated enough to explain myself without deciding to bring the full gender spectrum into the conversation.
		Besides, I dream of a world where people don&apos;t even care about gender.
		A world where the same pronouns are used for everyone.
		A world where double standards aren&apos;t in play, where something that&apos;s considered normal for a male to do is also considered normal for a female, and vice versa.
		A world where we&apos;re treated based on who we are, not what our outer bodies are like.
		For me to identify as being on either side of the line is thus counterproductive.
	</p>
	<p>
		Ironically, while I&apos;m feeling particularly girly today, I&apos;m not really craving the companionship of a male at all.
		Companionship would be nice, but I feel rather bisexual today.
		Like, even my usual method of proving to myself I&apos;m gay is doing nothing for me.
		It could be that since I haven&apos;t been trying to force anything lately, it&apos;s actually legitimately coming out in me.
		If I can find an understanding and compatible partner of any gender and any sex, I think I could make it work well.
		Having a gay partner would certainly make certain aspects of life easier, I&apos;m not denying that.
		A heterosexual, cisgendered person is more likely to want to have more-traditional gender roles involved in the relationship, and that&apos;s just not something I&apos;m likely able to put up with.
		A cisgendered heterosexual would probably be a decent match anyway if she was open to flexibility in the relationship and the defining of our own roles though.
		I&apos;m not feeling as uptight about compatibility criteria as I&apos;ve felt recently, either.
		As long as we&apos;re not going to raise children together, a lot of what I was seeking in a partner doesn&apos;t matter so much.
		That said, I&apos;m still doing quite well on my own and am in no rush to start dating.
		I still have school too, which takes a good chunk of my time.
		I&apos;m probably better off alone for the time being.
	</p>
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<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		I wasn&apos;t nearly as productive today as I planned to be, but I did make a good breakthrough in my studies.
		The main assignment in my operating systems course this week involved understanding how the bits of a virtual memory address are spilt into offset bits and page number bits, and I&apos;d previously been overwhelmed by the concept.
		It certainly didn&apos;t look like enough information was given in the assignment instructions, but I now understand how that all works.
		I should be able to complete the assignment without further reading, though I&apos;d prefer to complete the reading material first just to be sure I&apos;m not going to have to amend my submission later before handing it in.
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